[中文]避免失败的学生一般不会让人烦心或扰乱课堂,因而我们很可能忽略认为这一行为为不良行为。
阿尔贝托颓倒在最后一排角落的椅子上,从没看过阿尔瓦雷茨女士写在黑板上的西班牙语。阿尔瓦雷茨女士问他为什么不抄黑板上的词句在笔记上,因为别的同学都在做。他摆出一副傲慢的神气,耸耸肩随即又倒伏在座位上。
阿尔瓦雷茨女士很担心阿尔贝托。他上课从不回答她的问题,也不理会她在课间善意的教导。他那些厚厚的资料让人感觉他能学好西班牙语,但他课堂表现糟糕,家庭作业也不做完,这又让人不得不担心。阿尔瓦雷茨女士希望自己有一天可以帮助阿尔贝托。但现在太多的学生在捣乱,不遵守纪律,她很头疼。阿尔贝托至少没给她惹麻烦,她已经很宽慰了。
跟那些爱引人注意,争抢好胜,惹事报复的学生相比,阿尔贝托这样的学生不会惹太多的麻烦,他们遵守学校各项规章制度。问题出现在他们很少与老师和同学交流,在班级、宿舍或食堂他们都独处。另一个问题出现在大人们很可能忽略这些学生,如果不细心,我们很少去注意他们,仿若他们不存在。
学生有时候需要短暂的“撤出”,审视自我,重新定位,不要把暂时的“休假”误认为是避免失败。如果学生在一段时间内不断地表现出这种短暂“撤出”行为,影响了学习进步,问题就出现了。
积极明显的避免失败行为
一般情况下避免失败并不积极明显。学生也没做什么,然而问题已经出现了。
一种积极明显避免失败的行为就是因受挫大发脾气,表面上这种恼怒就如同耍小孩子脾气一样,年幼的学生是又打又闹,年长的学生会一边砸着桌子一边说着些粗俗的话。每一次这样的恼怒都是一种情感的外泄,希望老师不要再干涉并且顺从学生的要求;相反,那种受挫后的大发雷霆是一种内在的爆发,其目的是发泄感情,想把注意力从那种明显的或潜在的失败中转移出来。对容易发怒的学生,如果他们已经开始着手做某一工作,但结果却不令人满意时,最终,完全出于沮丧,他们调大悲伤声音的分贝,甚至嘶声痛哭,希望通过这种情感的外泄可以让自己避免面对失败。
另一种积极避免失败的行为是装傻出丑或偷懒,实际上,这些古怪而又可笑的举止其目的是希望能够将老师和同学的注意力吸引到那些表面的行为上来,而不让别人注意到他们内心对失败的惧怕。
被动的避免失败
在大多数情况下,学生避免失败的种种不良行为是很消极和被动的。
托交和不完成作业
有些学生,尤其是那些聪明而很有才能的青年人,拖延时间来避免失败。“如果我做我就能成功”成了他们的座右铭,很多人也会用这个左右名应急一些事情。你是否曾经拖延一篇论文直到交稿的前一天晚上才开始动笔?如果你得了一个C,你会告诉自己什么?你可能会说:“我的确是一个优秀的学生,如果我再努力一些,就可以得到A。”假如事实正好相反,你在这篇论文上努力了好几周,而后你却得到了一个C,你也许会想:“当初为什么不迟点动笔,这样最后也会像个成功者:为什么去努力,要像个失败者。”
不注重完成计划和作业是被动地避免失败的另一种表现。老师不会去批改或评分那些没有完成的作业,那么失败也就无从说起了。当我了解到此种逃避失败的方式时不禁发笑,当时我的抽屉里塞满了没有缝补完的衣服,我相信聪明的人会去缝缝补补,因为买衣服的花费要贵一些。我告诉自己:“我十分在行针线活,终有一天我会缝
完这些衣服的。”倘若缝完了却没有一件合身的,我将不得不告知自己:“我想我在缝纫技术上的确很失败。”但是如果没能缝完这些衣服,我仍能感觉自己是优秀的。
暂时丧失能力
有些学生通过表现临时的无能力来“逃避失败”,以莫里为例:
莫里文化课成绩优异,但体育有些落后,课堂表现笨拙。一上体育课,他就一次说头疼,二次说胃疼,因为他认为自己在那种情况下会表现得很差,任何的小病痛都可以成为他脱身的借口。他经常不上课,所以没有人会评价他的表现如何。体育课一结束,莫里的病也“消失”了,这也就不足为奇了。
假装无能力
当前这种对学习没有天赋和注意力不集中的强调,偶然地助长了学生成功采取避免失败的行为。尤其是当“对症下药”作为一种纠正理念时,
,“无能力”这种观念给学生灌输了一种“我不能”的观点,也为学生的退缩或放弃尝试提供 了一种看似合理的借口。
即便是最优秀的诊断师也很难区分真正的“无能力和假装的“无能力”。老师通常想知道学生到底是不行还是不愿意,可是有些学生擅长伪装,即便在考试方面也如此,常常学生自己不会意识到这一点。为了让情况更令人困惑,更加复杂,有一点不足的学生能够将自己这种“没能力”
表现的很严重,这些学生通过表现的不实际更差,以此避开老师,既而避免更多的失败。
有些学生的确在学习上需要特殊帮助,不幸的是,重点学校灌输给他们的思想却在增强学生“我不行”的自我认识,他们需要被传授能够适应他们需求的方法和知识,需要听到“你能行”的声音。如果不断得到鼓励,他们的自尊心也会增强,他就不需要在避免失败上,下太大工夫了!
如何识别避免失败的行为
我们已经了解了三种迹象,它们分别用于区别爱吸引注意力,争强好胜,捣乱报复和避免失败的目的——对内心情绪压力的解读,我们的典型作风和学生对我们指正的反应。
避免失败迹象一:
当面对避免失败的行为时,人体内心情绪压力表
会改变位置━从挤压在内心深处转移到清晰可见的头脑思考,压力表上的读数会从温热上升到沸腾的标度上。我们感觉到的不再是烦恼、气氛或悲伤这些负面的情绪,而是职业性地担忧、沮丧,抑或是绝望。我们会问自己:为什么我们的教学策略不起作用了呢?难道的确存在一种难以诊断的学习缺陷吗?我们会感到学生无法理解我们,并且开始怀疑自己的教学能力。
避免失败迹象二:
我们典型的作风就是放弃努力,感觉就如同面临一堵无法穿过的砖墙,我们很可能会将事情转交给学校辅助服务部门,以此作为解决问题的唯一方法。
避免失败迹象三:
当教师放弃努力并且对学生放任自流时,这种不良行为不会暂时终止,而学生也不会变得更加积极。相反,年轻人的反应通常是一如既往地避免即将来临的任务。
避免失败行为的根源
一些盛行的社会因素和教育理念促使学生采取避免失败的行为。
红铅笔的使用
一种司空见惯的教育方法,就是把学生的错误用红笔的标记出来,在眉头鲜明的圈出错误的数量。学生知道了自己的错误,也会因此去注意他们,这样通常班里的每个人都只知道他们犯了多少错误。难怪有些学生对此仅采取无动于衷的态度而已。
不合理的目标
当父母、老师或学生定制了不合理的成功目标时,避免失败也会随之而来。学生一旦意识到自己不可能达到目标时,他们就拒绝去努力。他们宁愿被责骂没努力,也不愿去奋斗而失败,而后被认为很蠢。比起自己的艰难努力,但进步却很少时,他们可能会认为同龄人或兄弟姐妹的成功太容易了。我们也许试着告诉他们,如果他们尽了最大的努力,我们会很满意,但他们却不信。选择拒绝努力要比选择奋斗而后失败更能挽回他们的面子。
完美主义和明星心理
一些追求完美的学生不能容忍一顶点儿的错误。对他们而言,一个错误不只是学习中很不正常的一部分 ,而且更是一个悲剧,这个悲剧需要不惜一切代价来避免。很多又聪明又有能力的年轻人也认为只有完美的表现才会被接受,因此不再努力,这是多么的可悲。
社会和学校通常只在意结果,很少关注努力的过程。,一名班级代表得了最高分就会被授予荣誉,却从不考虑这些结果是否是通过艰难努力得来。可是谁注意到了塔米?她每天下午都在上家教课,成绩从D+上升到B+。 还有惠特尼,他现在按时上课,并且整堂课都很认真。
强调竞争
班级里强调竞争是有些学生选择避免失败的另一个缘由。如果非得贴上“成功者”或“失败者”的标签,他们宁愿不去参加竞争。
一些教育者是竞争的捍卫者,他们相信竞争能激发学生去奋斗,并且亦可为现实生活中的竞争做准备。但是现实中的竞争有别于班级内的竞争,尤其重要的一个原因就是环境的不同。当我们在工作上竞争时,我们许多人是处在一个选择好的环境中。因为这些工作我们来说是爱好,同时我们也有这方面的资质,所有这些条件创造了一个可以竞争的环境。例如,我投一本书到出版社,我知道我同时在和别的作者竞争,但我也知道我可以成功,因为我有这个能力。我不会跟一个服装制造商说:“我想为你们设计衣服。”
然而学生们所处的环境,往往并非这么幸运。每天他们要和他们的同学在不同的科目和技能上竞争,数学、英语、社会实践、自然科学和体育锻炼。他们不可以选择他们要在什么方面竞争,也没机会说:“不,谢谢Umbermeyer先生,我今天不想英语比赛了。”因而他们选择用行动来诉说他们的意愿。他们逃避,封闭自己,放弃努力。
学生合理的要求
当我们进一步观察避免失败这种行为时,我们发现选择“避免失败”的学生有迫切的需求,但他们不知道如何用一种正确的方法去满足这些需求。像我们一样,他们的生活也需要信心和成就感。他们需要相信自己足够的聪明,通过我们的教育和他们的适当的努力,他们能在学习上成功。
避免失败的一线希望
对有些学生来说,好胜心是挽救避免失败的一线希望。他们想要在学习上获得成功,他们想要相信自己不会犯错,可以取得成就。运用正确的方法,我们可以培育这种好胜心,帮助他们纠正行为。
然而对于很多避免失败的学生来说,根本没有这一线希望。这些学生很颓废。他们自卑的令人难以置信,他们缺少来自朋友的支持。既然他们不能独自度过难关,那么他们需要并且应当得到及时的帮助。
预防规律
有两个预防规律,可以帮助缓和避免失败行为。
1. 鼓励“我能行”的观念 我们必须抓住每个机会,去帮助这些学生改变他们的自我认识,从“我不行”到“我能行”。
2. 建立友谊 在结束这些避免失败的学生的自闭行为时,我们可以扮演主动的角色,鼓励他们去和我们和同学建立良好关系。
在十三章和十四章我们将进一步探讨如何将这些规律应用到实践中去的方法。
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[外文]
We may fail to recognize avoidance--of--failure as a goal of misbehavior, since the student who is avoiding failure generally dose not distract us or disrupt our classroom:
Alberto is slumped in his chair in the corner of the last row. He hasn’t once looked at the Spanish words Ms.Alvarez has written on the board. When she asks why he isn’t copying the words in a notebook like the other students, Alberto avoids eye contact. He shrugs his shoulders and sinks father down in his seat.
Ms.Alvarez worries about ALberto. He never responds to her questions in class or to her kind remarks between classes. His cumulative folder indicates he has the ability to learn Spanish, but his poor classwork and incomplete homework present a contrary picture. Ms.Alvarez would like to help Alberto someday. But for now, with so many rowdy and disorderly students to worry about, she’s relieved that at least he doesn’t add to the disturbance.
Students like Alberto don’t cause as much as those who are seeking attention, power, or revenge. They tend to observe school rules and requirements. The problem is that they seldom interact with teachers and peers, choosing to remain isolated in the classroom, halls and lunchroom. Another problem is that adults may view these students as "transparent." If we are not careful, we may look through these students as if they are nonexistent.
Sometimes a student needs to withdraw temporarily, to look within and regroup. Don’t mistake for avoidance--of--failure behaviour. Withdrawal becomes a problem when the student consistently engages in such behaviour over a period of time, in ways that impede academic and development.
Active Avoidance--of--failure
Avoidance--of--failure isn’t usually active. The problem seldom lies in what the student is doing but rather in what the student is not doing.
One active avoidance--of--failure behaviour is the frustration tantrum. On the surface this tantrum resembles a temper tantrum: Young students tick and cry, older students pound the desk and utter unprintable words, the goal of each tantrum is an explosion designed to get the teacher to back off and submit to the student’s demands. In contrast, the frustration tantrum is an implosion designed to let off steam and direct the focus away from an apparent or potential failure. Students who have frustration tantrum have set out to perform certain tasks but have been unable to succeed to their own satisfaction. Finally, out of sheer frustration, they turn up the vocal volume or collapse into tears, hoping that the emotional outburst will allow them to avoid facing their failure.
Another active avoidance--of--failure behavior is clowning or goofing off. Underneath these antics is the hope that teachers and classmates will focus on the surface behaviors and not even notice the fear underneath.
Passive Avoidance--of—Failure
In most cases, students who seek to avoid failure exhibit this misbehavior passively.
Procrastination and Noncompletion
Some students—speciallybright,capable youth--procrastinate to avoid failure.” I could have if I would have" is their motto. Most people have used this motto on a few occasions. Did you ever delay writing a paper until the night before it was due? Then, if you received a C, what did you tell yourself? Probably something like this: " I’m really a good student, and I could have gotten an A if I had worked harder." If instead you had worked for weeks on the paper and received a C, you might have thought, "why not procrastinate and end up feeling like a winner, instead of working hard and feeling like a failure?"
Neglecting to complete projects and assignment is another variation of this passive avoidance--of--failure. Projects that are never finished cannot be judged or grades, so failure is impossible. I laughed when I learned about this kind of avoidance behavior because at the time I had a drawer full of half--seven garments. I believed that smart people sewed to avoid the high cost of clothing. I had told myself, "I’m really okay at this. Someday I’ll finish the clothes." If I had actually finished the sewing and nothing had fit, I’d have had to tell myself, "I guess I’m really a failure at sewing." By not completing the projects I was able to continue feeling competent.
Temporary Incapacity
Some students avoid failure by developing temporary incapacities. For example, consider Morrie:
Morrie is skilled academically but feels klutzy in physical education classes. When it’s time for phys. ed., he complains of a headache one time, stomach cramps the next---any ailment that might excuse him from a situation in which he expects to do poorly. Since he doesn’t participate, no one can judge his performance. It’s no surprise that Morrie’s illness disappears as soon as phys.ed. is over.
Assumed Disabilities
The current emphasis on learning disabilities and attention--deficit disorder inadvertently helps students successfully carry out avoidance--of--failure behavior. The whole notion of disabilities, especially when drugs are used as part of the corrective procedures, feeds into a student’s notion of "I can’t" and provides a seemingly legitimate excuse to withdraw and quit trying.
Even the most astute diagnostician has difficulty differentiating between real and assumed disabilities. Some students are so good at pretending, even on tests, that teachers often wonder if students can’t or if they simply won’t. Frequently, the students themselves don’t really know. To make matter more confusing, some students who do have a minor disability have learned to make it major. By appearing more disabled than they are, these students can keep teachers at bay and thus avoid more failure.
Some students do need special help to learn. Unfortunately., the labels schools apply to them tend to reinforce these children’s notions of their inadequacies. What they need is to be taught with methods and materials adapted to their needs and to hear the message, "You can do it!" when they receive consistent encouragement, their self--esteem will grow and they’ll have less need to work at avoiding failure.
How to Identify Avoidance-of-Failure Behavior
We’ve learned three clues for distinguishing attention, power, revenge, and avoidance-of-failure goals: the reading on our emotional pressure gauge, our typical reaction, and the student’s response to our correction.
Avoidance-of-Failure Clue 1:
When faced with avoidance-of-failure behavior, our pressure gauge changes location, moving from deep inside our gut to our head. The readings on the gauge swing away from the mild-to-boiling scale. Instead of upsetting feelings like irritation, anger, and hurt, we’ll feel professional concern, frustration, perhaps despair. We ask ourselves, “Why we our teaching strategies not working?” “Is there an undiagnosed learning disability?” Feeling that we simply can’t get through to this student, we might even begin to doubt our own teaching ability.
Avoidance-of-Failure Clue 2:
A typical reaction is to give up trying, feeling that we’re up against a brick wall that we don’t seem able to penetrate. We may seek a referral to the school support-service personnel as the only solution to the problem.
Avoidance-of-Failure Clue 3:
When teachers give up trying and leave the student alone, the misbehavior doesn’t stop temporarily (as with attention), nor does it intensify on the student’s own terms (as with power or revenge). Rather, the young person’s response is usually to continue to avoid the task at hand.
Origins of avoidance-of-Failure Behavior
A number of all-too-prevalent social and educational factors contribute to students’ choosing avoidance-of- failure behavior.
Rule of the Red Pencil
A long-accepted educational practice has been to mark students’ mistakes in red pencil, with the number wrong clearly circled at the top of the page. Students know their mistakes are going to receive attention. Often everyone else in the class knows just how many mistakes they’ve made. No wonder some students simply decide not to do any work.
Unreasonable Expectations
When parents, teachers, or students have unreasonable expectations for success, avoidance-of-failure behavior soon follows. Realizing they can’t reach the goal, students simply refuse to try. They’d rather be chastised for not making the effort than be branded “stupid” for trying and failing. They may see peers or siblings succeeding easily; when they compare their own stumbling efforts, they come up short. We may try to tell these students we’ll be satisfied if they put forth their best effort, but they’re not convinced. To refuse to try is less damaging to their ego than to try to achieve results that might not be satisfactory.
Perfectionism and Star Mentality
Students who strive to be perfect can’t tolerate the slightest mistake. To them, an error isn’t a normal part of the learning process but rather a tragedy to be avoided at all costs. How sad that so many bright, capable young people refuse to put forth any effort because they believe that only perfect performance is acceptable.
Society and schools usually recognize results, rarely the effort involved. The class valediction is honored for earning the highest grades, regardless of whether it tool hard work to earn them. In contrast, who recognizes students like Tami, who went from a D-minus to a B-plus average by spending every afternoon with tutors? Or Whitney, who now comes to class on time and pays attention nearly, the whole period?
Emphasis on Competition
An emphasis on competition in the classroom is another reason some students adopt avoidance-of-failure behavior. If they have to be branded a winner or loser, they’d rather not play at all.
Some educators are champions of competition. They believe that competition motivates students to try harder and prepares them for real-life competition. But real-life competition differs from classroom competition, particularly in one major aspect: choice of arena. When we compete in the workplace, most of us are in our chosen field, doing work for which we have a preference and an aptitude—factors that give a competitive edge. for example when I propose a book to a publisher, I know I’m competing against other authors, but I also know that I have the talent for writing such a book and hence a reasonable chance for success. I would never tell a clothing manufacturer,” I’d like to design dresses for you.”
Students, however, are placed in a less fortunate position constantly. All day long, they’re compared with other students in different subjects and skills, from math to English to social studies to science to physical education. They don’t get to choose which subject they’d like to compete in. they aren’t allowed to say, “No thank you, Mr. Umbermeyer, I don’t wish to compete in English today.” So they speak with their behavior instead. They withdraw, isolate themselves, and refuse to try.
Students’ legitimate Needs
When we closely examine avoidance-of – failure behavior, we find that students who choose these behavior have some immediate needs they do not know how to satisfy in appropriate ways. Like all of us, these students need to believe in themselves and to feel successful in their daily lives. They need to believe they are smart enough that, with good teaching from us and a reasonable from them, they will be able to succeed academically.
Avoidance-of-failure Behavior’s Silver Lining
For some students, ambition is the silver lining in avoidance-of- failure behavior. They want to succeed in school – if they can be assured of not making mistakes and pf achieving some status. With the right strategies, we can nurture this ambition and help the students change their behavior.
For many students with avoidance- of- failure behaviors, however, there is no silver lining. These students are too discouraged. They have incredibly low self-esteem, and they lack the support of friends. Since they have no resource for going it alone, they need and deserve immediate help.
Principles of Prevention
Two principles of prevention are helpful for alleviating avoidance-of-failure behavior:
1. Encourage an “I can” belief. We must take every opportunity available to help these students change their self-perception from “I can’t” to “I can.”
2. Foster friendships. We can take an active role in ending failures-avoiding students’ isolation by draw them into congenial relationships with us and with other students.
In Chapter 13 and 14 we will look closely at ways we can put these principles into practice.
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